


Avoiding the Void

by lunaseed



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:53:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22255990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaseed/pseuds/lunaseed
Summary: "Rock bottom is a really solid foundation to rebuild your life on."I stared out at the expanse of densely overgrown farm land, suddenly doubting I had done the right thing. My friend on the other end of the phone couldn't see the journey that lay ahead. "I really hope you're right."
Relationships: Sebastian/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. It's Me

I knocked on the door, and waited. When nobody came, I knocked again. Louder this time, longer. “It’s me!” I shouted. “Sophia!”

No footsteps could be heard on the other side. I chewed the inside of my cheek, willing the dread I felt in my stomach to dissipate. The silence that filled the old plot of land sent a shiver down my spine.

I kept trying. I knocked until my knuckles ached. My pathetic pleas grew louder and shakier with each passing moment. “Please, I just want you to come to the door!” I rested my forehead against the wood, “I’m sorry it took me this long to come! I’m sorry I didn’t call you more…” I was weeping. My throat felt like it was closing, “I just want to come inside!”

Through my hysteria, I did not notice the two visitors that were approaching me. I didn’t see them break into a jog when they caught sight of me from the dirt path, I didn’t hear the old boards creak as they climbed the steps to the porch, “Oh, honey,” the female’s voice startled me, but I was too ashamed to turn to face the strangers. I kept my forehead firmly planted against the door and my eyes tightly shut in an attempt to conceal the tears. “Are you…”

“Sophia!” a man’s voice cut her off. Hearing him say my name felt distantly familiar, a memory I couldn’t quite grasp in my scattered brain. “Is that you?”

I nodded. A large part of me hoped a large hole would open up beneath my feet and would swallow me whole. This was not my finest moment, and I had no interest in an audience.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned.

Well, that was certainly a loaded question. What was I doing here? What exactly were my intentions when I bought my bus ticket earlier today? Surely, I hadn’t come here hoping that visiting would bring him back from the dead. I considered how to answer this in the most diplomatic way possible.

‘I wanted check on the farm, make sure everything is on the up and up.’

‘Just looking for some time away from the city! I missed the fresh air and coast line.’

These were all great options. Unfortunately for me, what came out of my mouth was, “He’s not coming to the door, is he?”

For a moment, nobody in our sad little trio said a word. 

My mind would not let it go. I needed to hear it from someone else, or I would not be able to convince myself to stop knocking. “Is he?”

“No, he’s not,” the man said after another brief pause. “He’s gone, Sophia.”

This was the answer I knew I would get, but it registered in my mind like a punch to the stomach. I sank to my knees. “I was just…” Who was I talking to? Me? Them? “I was just hoping mom’s message was wrong…a sick joke or something.”

“Oh, sweetie,” the woman knelt down besides me, gently patting my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

I looked up at this woman. She was probably my mother’s age, some part of me wondered if they knew each other. “I’m sorry,” I sniffled, “I’m sorry I’m here like this.”

“I’m Robin,” she helped me to my feet, “don’t apologize. He loved you. He told me so much about you I had forgotten we had never met in person.”

The guilt was eating me. He adored me, his only grandchild, and I couldn’t be bothered to come visit. I could barely be trusted to return a phone call.

“I’m sure you don’t remember me,” the man said once I was standing again. “I’m Lewis, I was good friends with your grandfather.”

“I, uh,” I wracked my brain. The name held some weight to me, but nothing that I could connect it to. “It’s been a long time. I’m sure I’ve seen you before, though.”

“Of course,” Lewis nodded, giving me a small smile. “Will you be spending the night in town, Sophia?”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m sure I had been aware that I had been staying much longer than initially planned. I’m sure I felt the night chill through my thin jacket. But it didn’t register in my mind until this moment. Now, I was all too aware that I had nowhere near enough cash on me to call a taxi, and that the last bus had left this tiny town hours ago. “I guess I am,” I told them, trying to hide my embarrassment.

Robin’s eyes widened slightly. “Here? In the cabin?”

“I’m sure there’s a hotel nearby,” the statement came off as more of a question. Robin and Lewis exchanged a quick glance, clearly slightly amused by the statement.

“There’s not a hotel for miles, Sophia,” Lewis told me.

“Do you have anyone to call?” Robyn asked, “Maybe a friend who wouldn’t mind taking a nice, scenic, you really gotta push the whole ‘scenic’ aspect of it, drive out to the country?”

I shook my head. That was simply not an option. “No, no one will come get me.”

They both seemed taken back at the statement. Robin frowned as she turned to Lewis. “She can’t stay in the cabin, at least not tonight. It’s not fit for ...People, currently.”

Taking a quick glance toward the old building, I found myself doubting that it was structurally unsound. Sure, it was practically ancient, but I know my grandfather kept the modest cabin to living standards. Could it be possible that these relative strangers were concerned about my mental state? Would it be a good idea for me to hole up here for the night?

Lewis eyed her suspiciously. “Right, okay,” he turned back to me, a kind smile on his face. “You can take my bed for the night, Sophia. The couch will be perfectly fine for me.”

“Oh, Lewis, please!” Robyn interjected, “She can come with me! Seb is in the city for the night for a conference, she can just take his bed!”

There seemed to be no room for argument after this. I found myself being led down the dirt path away from my grandfather’s house and towards the center of the little town. In my near catatonic state, I couldn’t argue. I was a 25 year old grown woman, who was typically the first person to lash out and the last person to be told what I was doing, let alone where I would be sleeping. But, I had no will to fight. These people seemed nice, welcoming, perhaps a little overbearing, but harmless. They provided the illusion that someone cared, and for tonight, that was enough for me.


	2. Disappointed, but not surprised

“Watch your step!” Robin called as she led me down a darkened set of stairs. She muttered that she was sorry for any mess, but not to worry, she had changed his sheets as soon as he left.

She made me pinky swear to never mention it to him.

“Well, Sophia, if you decide your hungry,” she shifted uncomfortably, “or would just like some company, we’re right upstairs. I’m sure Maru would be thrilled to bring you to the saloon for a drink.”

I nodded, touched by the offer. Her family had welcomed me just as warmly, no questions asked about who I was or why I was going to be spending the night in their adult son’s bedroom. “Thank you, Robin. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“No problem, hun,” she gestured towards the desk with her chin as she walked back towards the bedroom door, “Wi-Fi router is right there, password is on the back. Feel free to connect to it, I know we get no cell reception out here.”

Ah, yes. I had been at zero bars since I had arrived earlier today. It was about time to reconnect to society, unfortunately. “Great, thanks.”

“Good night, Sophia.” With that, she shut the door to the bedroom, and I was alone again.

I typed the Wi-Fi password into my phone. Once I was connected, I heard the haunting ding to notify me of an unread email. I took a deep breath in before I opened the app, all too aware that I was scheduled to be at work today, like I typically was on a Friday.

There was only one email in my inbox, and the subject line was very to the point: Termination. I opened it and skimmed over the contents. They were sorry to hear about the passing of my grandfather, but my time off request had been denied, they were given no choice but to let me go for my no call, no show today.

I placed my phone on the twin bed beside me. Fired. They had really fired me. I was simultaneously shocked, but numb. Disappointed, but not surprised. I was a body behind a desk, I would be replaced by the beginning of next week, and that would be that. 

What was my next move from here? I’d never lost a job before. My anxiety told me to pace, pace, pace. Your life is over! Everything is proverbially up in flames! What are you going to do? How will you pay rent? How will you live?

Some part of me found humor at the idea that I was living at all. In fact, some part of me thought the idea of that was so funny, that I started laughing out loud. Surviving, yes, absolutely. I certainly had the bare minimum. A roof over my head, take out left overs in my fridge, a mattress on the floor, and clothes on my back.

Could I remember when the last time someone had invited me over for a meal was? No. When was the last time I had spent time with someone, who wasn’t a co-worker in the office lunchroom? Six months, maybe longer. I didn’t even want to consider how long it had been since I felt any kind of genuine joy.

I doubled over, giggling. Thinking of my day-to-day routine was pathetic, totally depressing. Wake up, sit in traffic, stare at a computer in my cubical, rush hour traffic, Netflix, bed. Rinse and repeat. Was that really what life was? Was this really what I was destined to do?

At some point, the giggling had turn to sobbing. I was in charge of my destiny, and I couldn’t let it go down like this. I had spent the entirety of my adult life doing what was expected, what was normal. I knew that living like that would be the death of me. 

I stood from the bed. The only person who could change my future was me. It was time to stop taking a back seat approach to existing. “I will do better,” I wiped my tear stained cheeks on the back of my sleeve. “I’m the adult, I make the choices.”

Deep breath in, deep breathe out. The anxious part of my brain wouldn’t win this time. I wasn’t going to panic, I was going to calm down and go to bed. I could figure everything else out in the morning.

Robin had told me to help myself to Sebastian’s dresser for something to sleep in, and encouraged me to keep it afterwards. “Maybe I can convince him to buy some new ones if some old ones ‘disappear.’” She had told me with a smile and a wink.

Sure, I guess I’ll go through this man’s dresser. At this point, that seemed just fine, not weird at all. I grabbed the first t-shirt off the top of the pile. The band tee would do just fine as pajamas for tonight. I tossed my worn clothing on the floor and slipped his shirt over my head.

Before I took my jeans off, I fished out the key that sat in my front pocket. I considered it for a moment before ultimately taking out my key ring and looping it on with the rest of them.

I could figure it out in the morning.

_____Sebastian

When I had arrived back in town an hour before, I didn’t expect to find anything surprising. I expected my Friday night to proceed as it often did. Spend some time with Sam at the bar, buy some weed off Shane, and then pass out after a few hours of staring at my computer screen.

A few of these things happened according to plan.

I met up with Sam at the bar and Shane sold us a dime bag after last call. We smoked on the pier before going our separate ways. I walked up the dirt path to the mountains and tried not to focus on how much energy it took to put one foot in front of the other.

This is where the normalcy ended. After entering the house with as much stealth as I was capable of, I found myself in my room, ready to fall into bed. But, I couldn’t exactly do that.

It appeared to be occupied.

I stood in my boxers, staring at the sleeping figure of a girl I had never seen before. Her brown hair was spread out over my pillow. She wore one of my old band tees. She clutched my quilt to her chest, but had one pale, bare leg thrown over top. I caught sight of a tattoo on her thigh. Cherry Blossoms. The branches crept up, up, up, up. My eyes followed almost involuntarily. Ah, she had no pants on. Great, okay. I tore my focus away.

Was I hallucinating?

Was I so stoned and lonely that I had conjured up a beautiful girl in my bed?

She stirred slightly and I jumped as if her movement had burned me. She was definitely very real.

I knew I should get the fuck out of here. I should run upstairs, wake them all up, and demand to know who the hell this is. Logically, I should be angry that my privacy and personal space had been invaded like this. This was my room, not a fucking bed and breakfast.

Was I actually mad?

Would my bed smell like her?

Alright. Yikes.

Time to pull it together. Time to put together a game plan. I needed to confront my family. But first, I needed some eye drops.

I took one step backwards, then another. I just had to make it to my desk. I should have turned, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Would she disappear if I looked away?

Suddenly, there was a crash. It took me a second to realize the noise had been caused by me falling to the ground like a dumbass. It didn’t take the girl in my bed quite that long to figure it out.

She sat up straight, clutching the quilt to her chest, her eyes wide and terrified.

“No, no, no,” I whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Then, she began to scream.


	3. Chapter 3

____Sophia

“No, no, no,” the pasty man on the floor whispered desperately. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He moved to a crouching position and, much to my horror, began to crawl towards me. If his intention wasn’t to scare me, I’m not really sure what he was going for. His hand grabbed the edge of the mattress. He kept his eyes on mine, watching me in a way that almost made him look a bit awestruck.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. 

I opened my mouth, shouting as loud as I could, praying that it was enough to wake the rest of the house. His gaze quickly became harsh, once he realized what I had done. “What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed at me.

The proximity of the nearly nude man made me sweat, my stomach tied in knots. My heart pounded. He continued in his attempts to stand, to get closer to me, it seemed. I could hear footsteps coming from the top floor of the house. They were coming, but would they get here before he could grab me?

“Ah, fucking great. Now they’re all awake!”

Both of his hands were on the bed now and he found his footing. I gaped up at him as he rose to full height, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically small. He stood over me, his eyes angry. He looked ready to open his mouth, continue to berate me for waking up the family upstairs, or something else. I couldn’t be sure, but I definitely couldn’t leave it up to chance.

I swung at him, my fist connecting with his stomach. The force sent him backwards slightly, just far enough away to have me feeling confident he wouldn’t get to me before Robin did. He held a hand to his stomach and stared at me in shock.

On queue, the door to the bedroom swung open, the bang reverberating off the walls of the basement. “What happened? Is everything okay?” Robin’s chest heaved as she looked around the room, eyes likely still bleary with sleep.

“Yes, Mom,” the dark haired man said, his eyes still locked on me. “Just met our house guest.”

Mom?

“Oh, god,” Robin groaned, rubbing her hand over her face. “Sebastian, you’re back early.”

Oh. Oh, god. Sebastian.

_______________________________________

There was no amount of money on the earth that could have convinced to stay inside that house for another moment.

Robin was begging me not to go. She assured me Sebastian wouldn’t mind taking the living room couch.

“Like fucking hell I will!” I heard him shout from the basement.

She gave me an apologetic look. “Oh, I’m so sorry about this! He wasn’t supposed to be back until this afternoon. I have no idea what he was doing creeping around down there…”

“Creeping around?” Sebastian shouted. He started climbing the stairs to continue the argument. “It’s my room! You shouldn’t be using it as a hotel for every person too brain dead to keep track of a bus schedule!”

Robin looked mortified. “ _Sebastian!_ ”

“No, really, it’s no big deal,” I assured her as I slipped my shoes on, choosing to ignore Sebastian’s harsh words. That was a confrontation that, simply put, didn’t need to happen. “I shouldn’t have screamed and woke everyone up—”

“You shouldn’t have punched me either!” Sebastian complained from his spot at the top of the stairs.

Maru chuckled from the doorway of her bedroom. “Nice.”

“Fuck off, Maru!” Sebastian snarled, which only made her laugh more. My cheeks burned. I hadn’t intended to cause a family wide screaming match.

“I, uh, I should go. Thank you again for the hospitality, Robin. You too, Demetrius.” Her husband gave me a small wave, seemingly still half asleep and not really processing what was happening. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and gave a half-hearted attempt to keep Maru and Sebastian from ripping each other’s heads off by stepping in between them, shushing them.

“Oh, but Sophia,” Robin tried once more. “It’s barely 4 AM. Where will you go?”

I dug my keys out of the worn, leather bag and held them up. “I’ll be fine until I can catch the first bus out of here.”

Robin eyed the object curiously. “Keys? To the farm house?”

“Ah, yeah,” I replied, sheepishly. “I squared away all the paperwork last week.”

Her pity filled look nearly knocked the wind out of me. “I have to go, I really do. Thank you again.” I walked out the door and slammed it shut behind me without another word. 

Finally, I was alone again. I took a deep breath, and started the walk back to the farm.

My mind was on autopilot as I walked down the tree-lined trail. I had taken this route countless times in my childhood. I had climbed every tree, tripped in every hole along the way. The scent of fresh air and pine trees comforted me.

Soon enough, the old cabin came into view. My anxiety spiked once again. I stopped a few feet short of the front porch.

My clammy hands clutched the keys I had received from the lawyer just a week before. This place belonged to me now. I choose what the fate of it was.

The expectation was to the sell, I was certain of that. That would be the easiest thing to do.

My grandpa would hate that. My mother would love it.

The birds chirped happily around me. The sun had risen fully at this point and the air was beginning to warm. Suddenly, the steps looked like an inviting seat. So I sat. I would go in soon, I promised myself, just a few more minutes.

A few minutes turned to an hour. One hour turned to two. I remained anchored to my spot, faced with the same horror that I was when I was face to face with the door last night. If I opened it and went inside, it would mean it was real. He really was gone.

“You ran away pretty early this morning,” The sudden intrusion of Maru’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and back into reality. She stood next to the porch steps, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her puffy winter jacket. “You didn’t have to do that.”

I shrugged. “Your brother was pretty upset with me.”

Maru laughed. “Sebastian has always been and will always be upset by something.”

“He was right, it was so intrusive. I shouldn’t have slept in his room,” I jingled my keys nervously, toying with them between my fingers. “I shouldn’t have come back here.”

Maru scoffed. "You embarrassed him,” she said, “Sebastian’s not an idiot, he knew he should have turned and walked out of the room once he saw you in there. He’s just pissed that you caught him being a weirdo. He got what was coming to him when you punched him.”

My cheeks burned in embarrassment at the memory. “I shouldn’t have hit him.”

“He shouldn’t have been watching you sleep,” Maru countered. She took a seat next to me on the old wooden steps, her eyes flickering to the keys in my hand briefly before she leaned back on her elbows, joining me in looking at the clear blue sky. “He’ll get over it.”

“At least I’ll never have to see him again,” I said. Maru hummed in agreement. “I’ll never have to come back here again.”

“My mom…gave me a bit of backstory,” she gestured vaguely to the old cabin behind us.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Why couldn’t today just end? Had the embarrassment of my incident with Sebastian not been enough? I could have died happily without anyone else knowing about the sad scene I had caused on this porch last night. Especially now that they all knew I had the keys the whole time.

“Are you going to sell it?” Maru questioned.

‘Yes.’ It should have been as simple as that. I gave her a side ways glance before shrugging my shoulders. “Maybe,” I replied after a moment. “I mean, what else would I do with it?”

“Couldn’t you stay?”

“Is Pelican Town suddenly the epicenter for gainful employment?” Stay. Some part of me would love to stay here and start over. To be honest, a big part of me would love that.

“Your grandpa seemed to make it work, didn’t he?”

I laughed a bit. “I’m no farmer, Maru. I helped out as a kid, over the summer. I don’t think that translates to being able to make a living doing it alone.”

“Well, it’s as much of an option as anything, I guess.” She said. “I know we’d all love to have a new face around here.”

I thought of the cold apartment waiting for me back in the city and the letter of termination that sat in my inbox. The nagging sense of dread that sat like a weight in my stomach at the thought of returning to ZuZu City was threatening to eat me alive. What would I be going home to? “It’s probably been a while, right? Since anyone has come to stay here?”

“About a year,” Maru explained. “This guy named Elliot moved into a shack on the beach last spring. He’s a writer. Or at least he wants to be,” she paused for a second to roll her eyes at that. “He stays pretty locked down most of the time and definitely doesn’t do things like keep my brother in check with a swift gut punch or potentially grow cauliflower for all of us to enjoy from his sweet plot of farm land.”

I laughed, “It is pretty sweet, isn’t it?”

**Author's Note:**

> working on my writing muscles with this! I wrote many moons ago, and hope I'm able to get back on the horse and find passion again while working on this little story. Thanks for reading!


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